TOHS Standard Phonetic Alphabet

The Worst Phonetic Alphabet…

If the Standard ITU Phonetics just aren’t quite doing it for you, and you’ve grown tired of the typical variations (Sam, Baker, Mary, Germany, Radio etc), we’ve come up with a new phonetic alphabet designed to be the most useless one yet. Perhaps you’ve identified a station that has been stalking you. You need to make sure they’ll never understand your callsign, while still complying with your station ID requirements! There is no way in hell they’ll understand you through all those static crashes and fading with these:


A: Alejandro

B: Bubonic

C: Charlotte

D: Du Hast

E: Egg

F: Frankenfurter

G: Gnome

H: Hitchcock

I: Ignatius

J: Juarez

K: Kaffeeklatcsh

L: Luau

M: Mnemonic

N: Nuance

O: Oujia

P: Pterodactyl

R: Raxacoricofallapatorius

S: Sarajevo

T: Toxicologist

U: Unun

V: Valedictorian

W: Wistful

X: Xylophone

Y: Ypsilanti

Z: Zephyr


All that is left is for you to commit these to memory. If it seems difficult, well, just be thankful there isn’t a CW requirement for a ham license anymore because there’s no way you could learn that either.


“This is Wistful, Xylophone, Seven, Ouijia, Raxacoricofallapatorius Ignatius Calling CQ, CQ, CQ on 20 meters…”

“uh, yeah the Whiskey X-ray Seven station…… you’re five and nine, can you repeat your callsign please?”





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